Counseling Blog | The Dunham School | Private PreK-12 | Baton Rouge, LA

Counseling Blog

July 2025

Raising Children with a Christ-Centered Self-Image

In today’s world, our children are constantly bombarded with messages about who they should be—messages that define worth by appearance, achievement, popularity, or possessions. From preschool to high school, the pressure to measure up to the world’s standards can feel overwhelming.

As school counselors, we have the privilege of walking alongside students from as early as PK2 to their senior year of high school, and we see firsthand how comparison can take root early and grow quickly. Whether it's a preschooler noticing who got picked first for a game or a high schooler scrolling through carefully curated social media feeds, the temptation to compare is everywhere.

One phrase we often repeat in our counseling classes is this: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

And it truly is. When our children focus on what they’re not—rather than who they are in Christ—they begin to feel less than, left out, and never quite good enough.

But there is hope—and it starts at home.

Helping Our Children See Themselves Through God’s Eyes

We must teach our children that their value does not come from achievements, appearances, or what others think. Their worth comes from being created by a loving God, in His image, for His purpose.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

Guarding Their Hearts from the Lies of the World

The world shouts, “Be prettier, stronger, smarter, richer!” 

But Jesus whispers, “You are mine.”

We must be diligent in helping our children discern truth from lies. When they hear messages that say they’re not enough, we can remind them of what God says: 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

Practical Ways to Build a Christ-Centered Self-Image at Every Age

For Young Children (Ages 3–7):

• Affirm who they are in Christ with simple truths like “God made you special” and “Jesus loves you so much.”
• Celebrate effort over perfection. Avoid praising only outcomes—praise their hearts, their kindness, and their willingness to try.
• Limit comparison talk. If they say “She’s better than me,” gently remind them: “God made each of us different on purpose.” In our counseling classes, we often talk about how classmates can be better at something than us, but that never means they are better than us. God intentionally made us all unique and good at different things!

For Elementary and Middle School (Ages 8–13):

• Encourage gratitude. Help them count their blessings instead of comparing their lives to others.
• Talk openly about struggles. Let them know it’s okay to feel left out, but those feelings don’t define them.
• Help them memorize truth. Verses like Galatians 1:10 remind them who they’re living to please: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?... If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

For High Schoolers (Ages 14–18):

• Challenge the narrative of social media. Talk about how posts are often a highlight reel, not reality.
• Model identity in Christ. Share your own journey of finding worth in Him, not in what you do or have.
• Pray with them. Ask the Lord to help them root their identity in His love.
• “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”  1 John 3:1

Final Thoughts: Walk with Them in Truth

As parents and caregivers, your words and actions speak powerfully into your child’s self-image. More than anything, remind them often that they are "not of this world" (John 17:16), and their joy, peace, and worth are found in walking with Jesus.

Comparison truly is the thief of joy, but Christ is the giver of life and the joy-maker. Let’s raise children who know who they are—not because of the world’s mirror, but because of God’s truth.